Star Wars

Why the hell would anybody blow up that one super cool earth-like planet that I could empathize with?

Because they could’ve picked that desolate fucking bone-dry cotton-mouth-inducing dry heat bonanza to blow up, and made the same god damned point.

Or they could’ve picked Hoth. I lived in Minnesota, so if I could have written Star Wars I’d blow up Hoth because I hate winter and shit, and also, it would’ve proved pretty much the same thing.

I mean, all you gotta do is relax, pick a so-so planet somewhere in the middle that nobody really cares about, in order to maintain the Empire’s ironclad grip on control of Ultimate Power of the FORCE OR WHATEVER oh sorry caps lock.

But then they screwed the pooch; it’s like the Emperor & Vader were a couple total rank amateurs when they picked the NICE Blue Green Turquoise Noble Peaceful Symbol of All That Is Good in the Universe to blow up instead of Hoth or Tattooine or Madison, Wisconny, or whatever.

Because, like, and maybe this is totally obvious and you guys have already thought about all this or something, but, well, HEY THERE VADER HEY THERE EMPEROR PALPATINE OR WHOEVER

DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR IRRATIONAL TRIGGER-HAPPY ATTITUDE IS GOING TO TOTALLY BACKFIRE ON YOUR SUPPOSED NEFARIOUS PLAN AND NOT EVEN YOUR OWN FAMILY IS GOING TO WANT TO SIT WITH YOU AT THANKSGIVING AFTER THIS

In Texas Hold ‘Em & several other styles of card games, blowing up Alderran or whatever would commonly be referred to in the game as a “TELL”.

So, yeah. Uh, that’s all. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming or something.

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Ðrινεr Ðσωη

Hey, Everyone,

To celebrate my release from the AOXOMOXOA ABRAXAS AOXOMOXOA SAXARBA AOXOMOXOA ( redacted redacted redacted ), I’ve gone ahead and uploaded a free four-song early 4-track tape demo I made around 1999 or thereabouts. It’s a hefty-sized file, but has FOUR FREE SONGS in it and still sounds pretty good, at least to my aging & somewhat deaf ears.

- Jack

Just right-click and choose “SAVE AS” to save the free album to your computer. Thanks for stopping by!

Jack_Merlot_unreleased_the_Driver_Down_Sessions_4_Song_EP

❝ ❦ Ðrινεr ❦ Ðσωη ❦ ❞

The previously unreleased Driver Down ➍-song EP, DRM-Free, MP3-Style for your enjoyment & perusal.

❝ ❦ Ðrινεr ❦ Ðσωη ❦ ❞

Posted in Blog Posts, Drawings, Podcasts, Show all Lyrics, Show posts with Recordings, Show posts with Tablature | Leave a comment