Because they could’ve picked that desolate fucking bone-dry cotton-mouth-inducing dry heat bonanza to blow up, and made the same god damned point.

Or they could’ve picked Hoth. I lived in Minnesota, so if I could have written Star Wars I’d blow up Hoth because I hate winter and shit, and also, it would’ve proved pretty much the same thing.

I mean, all you gotta do is relax, pick a so-so planet somewhere in the middle that nobody really cares about, in order to maintain the Empire’s ironclad grip on control of Ultimate Power of the FORCE OR WHATEVER oh sorry caps lock.

But then they screwed the pooch; it’s like the Emperor & Vader were a couple total rank amateurs when they picked the NICE Blue Green Turquoise Noble Peaceful Symbol of All That Is Good in the Universe to blow up instead of Hoth or Tattooine or Madison, Wisconny, or whatever.

Because, like, and maybe this is totally obvious and you guys have already thought about all this or something, but, well, HEY THERE VADER HEY THERE EMPEROR PALPATINE OR WHOEVER

DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR IRRATIONAL TRIGGER-HAPPY ATTITUDE IS GOING TO TOTALLY BACKFIRE ON YOUR SUPPOSED NEFARIOUS PLAN AND NOT EVEN YOUR OWN FAMILY IS GOING TO WANT TO SIT WITH YOU AT THANKSGIVING AFTER THIS

In Texas Hold ‘Em & several other styles of card games, blowing up Alderran or whatever would commonly be referred to in the game as a “TELL”.

So, yeah. Uh, that’s all. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming or something.

To celebrate my release from the AOXOMOXOA ABRAXAS AOXOMOXOA SAXARBA AOXOMOXOA ( redacted redacted redacted ), I’ve gone ahead and uploaded a free four-song early 4-track tape demo I made around 1999 or thereabouts. It’s a hefty-sized file, but has FOUR FREE SONGS in it and still sounds pretty good, at least to my aging & somewhat deaf ears.

- Jack

Just right-click and choose “SAVE AS” to save the free album to your computer. Thanks for stopping by!

Jack_Merlot_unreleased_the_Driver_Down_Sessions_4_Song_EP

❝ ❦ Ðrινεr ❦ Ðσωη ❦ ❞

The previously unreleased Driver Down ➍-song EP, DRM-Free, MP3-Style for your enjoyment & perusal.

❝ ❦ Ðrινεr ❦ Ðσωη ❦ ❞

- Jesse

– Jack Merlot

– The Great Blue Wizard in Disguise

I’m currently attempting to extricate myself from the Dungeon of Deceit, 17th Circle Downwards Archimedean-Spiral Staircase courtesy of Dreamhaven Books in South Minneapolis.

Special Thanks to Dreamhaven for the assistance. Special Thanks to Neil Gaiman & Friend for the assistance & the papyrus raft & the emergency stim-pack rationale.

Special Thanks to Sir Tim Berners-Lee, Julian Assange, Matthew Broderick, Kevin Mitnick, Pastor Fretheim & Family & Friends of the Lutheran Brotherhood.

Special Thanks to Baby Ganesha, Baby Ganesh, & Falafel King in Uptown for their delicious Red Pepper Hummus.

Special Thanks to Ye Olde Country Timey Lemonade for the metal detector surplus sale & free trinkets.

Special Thanks to Vintage Music Co. of South Minneapolis. Scott, thanks for the additional information regarding the provenance of the cross-stitch, which is quite valuable information to me in regards to the ongoing recalibrations necessary to refabricate the Unicorn Factory Abstract Factory Method Method Maker Maker Niner Facade Maker Niner, and without which Mikah Niner would be Truly Lost.

Special Thanks to Killahertz & Scott, Scott from Vintage Music Co., Scotty, Scott Tissue, Great Scott!!! ( throws papyrus raft at the zoetrope and watches the sticky celluloid glue factory factory method maker abstractly drizzle more digitally imbalanced slipstick-friendly sextant coordinates across the back of the chalkboard. Again. )

Special Thanks to John the Printer, Molly, McGuire, & Friends. Special Thanks especially to Lunalux & Jenni Undis & All Undis Family & Friends of course.

Special Thanks to Kitty Rogers. Special thanks to the Specials, Red Squirrel Television on ESPN2, Albino Squirrelfriend on ESPN & BBC7 & BBC33.3 RPTNG RPTNG RPTNG rpt ng rpt tng TNG TNG TNG

- Jack Merlot

On a brighter note, I’ve been working on a collection of instrumental arrangements that I plan on releasing over the coming weeks. As lovely as her lilting melody may be, I have learnt from the heartbreaking wheels and deals that nature constantly offers each of us on our individual journeys through life, and though I love her, I will offer a piece of advice for anyone who is joining me on this leg of the trip to the center of the world:

Autumn is a fickle mistress; as such, she will undoubtedly be vanishing into the inevitable flurries that are quite possibly looming towards us just beyond the limits of our visual spectrum. So while it is quite tempting to take her by the wrist as she offers herself up to the Indian Summer & it is equally easy to succomb to her graces as you dance with her whipporwills under the full Harvest Moon, you would be a wise person indeed to decline her advances & instead turn your attention to the necessities required by the more temperamental sister months that lie ahead.

“I will be sweet with my words & oblique with my phrasing / I will respect those around me & reprimand those who would be lazy / for I have this day and of this she concurs / to fulfill all my debts, with my trappings & furs / we will shine like the sun as we mine through the night / crafting quicksilver splashes, blessed be, when the light / flows into the celestial stream / just remember, I told you to save your moonbeams / and although I am foolish & may be a Mark / I will remain true to the Blaze of the Bard in the park / though he sleeps with his head on the last cornerstone / in the morn’ he will wake you with the lilt of a groan / nay, a moan, then a gasp, then a sigh, then a tear / a laugh, and a smile, and a Lily, my dear / for it wasn’t the absence of care that was lost / it was just that perhaps there are lines we won’t cross.”

- Jack Merlot

Oh yeah – just in case you’re looking for the free MP3 album “Orchids for Betty”, you can get it here.

I’ve been working with the somewhat limited resources I’ve got and have arrived at the following conclusions:

I’ve been exhausted, mentally. Hence the delay in getting the new record out.
I may have outgrown my previous recording setup – the PowerMac G4 I used to make “Orchids for Betty” just isn’t cutting it anymore.
I worry about soundproofing, particularly since we have new neighbors and I like to record at night.
Perhaps the basement isn’t the most inspiring location in which to assemble new tracks and harmonies and what-have-you.

That being said, I haven’t given up hope. I’ve just been busy with all sorts of other distractions in life and haven’t fed my musical muse the way I’d like.

In any case, I’d like to give a shout out to my friends who are still patiently awaiting the arrival of a new Jack album. Especially Gumbo.

Gumbo, if you’re reading this, sorry I’ve been a stranger. Haven’t forgotten about you – I’m glad you’re still hanging around, I think about you sometimes and wonder what you’re up to. Hopefully we can reconnect on the RPM Challenge site for 2011.

Cheers!

- Jack Merlot

I apologize for the last-minute notice here, but I wanted to give ya’ll an update.

As some of you may already know, the RPM Challenge is having nationwide listening parties/CD swapping parties tonight at all the regional hubs.

Not wanting to be left out, I went ahead and found a spot for a (small) gathering of folks.

So, it looks like we’re not having an official regional listening party after all, due to lack of interest and also me being a procrastinating sumbitch.

HOWEVER:

I still really want to meet other RPM Challengers from the Twin Cities and swap copies of our CDs – we just finished a limited edition of 100 discs, all signed and numbered, and the artwork was letterpress-printed, suitable for framing, even. ;-)

And, the letterpress printing company, Lunalux , has graciously offered their space tonight so we can meet up if you want a copy of ‘Orchids for Betty’. The space is right off of Loring Park, right by the Walker modern art museum and the Sculpture Gardens, so it’s pretty easy to find.

Here’s a Google map to the shop – it’s right in between Cafe Lurcat and Nick & Eddie’s.

I’m probably going to play a short set on my acoustic guitar at around 8:00PM.

We have permission to use the store until 10:00, and the sound system at Lunalux is not that great, but it’ll still be a good time (and it’s sandwiched in between a bunch of bars, if we want to have an ‘afterparty’.)

Tell all your friends! The more the merrier. If nobody shows up, I won’t be disappointed – we’ll probably be logged into Second Life or the RPM Challenge website or whatnot, so it’s going to be fun no matter what.

Thanks,

– Jack & Friends

the original (unreleased) artwork for the Dragon Child single

Download Dragon Child over heah.

As in:

Ya’ll come back now, ya heah?

- Jack Merlot

Dragon Child

copyright 2004 Jack Merlot – some rights reserved

— — —

Written & performed by Jack Merlot

Producer/recording engineer: Toby Lucien

Mastered by Diamond Fiction

— — —

it’s been years since I felt like this
with a sweet little honey on my wrist
won’t you come stand with me in the night
before the clutch of our death-grip comes tight

Oh my dragon
oh my dragon you can come with me
I don’t know where I’m standing, on a cliff

with your heart in my hands,
I will decide
we are vultures in a state of denial
when you talked with everybody at the bar
the other night I laughed
cuz I know you’re coming home
and that’s what I planned

oh baby this time it’s gonna be rough
I don’t think I can fly any further, myself, oh no
it’s been years since I felt you in my heart
and this ocean’s only tearin’ me apart

it’s been years since I felt like this
with the sweetest little honey and she’s
pulling on my wrist
oh sweet dragon child dragon child my friend
I wanna be with you until the bitter end

I won’t die, I won’t die
but you gotta stay with me now now
I know I’ve been f*cking up a lot but
it’s the way I am

Driver Down (trip-hop) cover art - this track was never released, but we figured it was time.

So, go ahead and get yer Driver Down (trip-hop remix) right HEAH.

We didn’t really know what we were getting ourselves into on this one, and it shows, for certain, but on the other hand, WHAT A KILLER SONG. (I say that knowing full well how biased I am towards this sort of thing.)

Who cares if the mix is shot, the vocals are a mess, and the studio masters were lost in the Great Hard Drive Massacre of 2004? We sure as hell don’t!

Anyway, give it a try. If trip-hop’s your thing and you just couldn’t get enough of Portishead’s Dummy when it came out, you might just like it.

If not, well, it’s free, so maybe just delete it or something. That’s what we do with stuff we don’t like around here.

- Jack Merlot & Johnny Osmosis

As Manny sits by the side of the road and waits
Sits by the side of the road, tempting fate
She slows down and looks through her rearview mirror
says, “he don’t look so bad” and he has no reason to fear her

he said, driver, take me back down, down
back to the city of lovers
I’ll be acquainted with angels
you’ll share me with no other

I had just gone down to listen to traffic and play
My mind wasn’t entirely gone, despite what they say
Glass in the bushes, streaks on the pavement etched
forever in my mind, I wonder what kept them together

driver, take me back down, down
back to the city of lovers
I’ll be acquainted with angels
you’ll share me with no other

driver, take me back down, down
back to the city of lovers
I’ll be acquainted with strangers
you’ll share me with no other

This take is pretty rough, as it’s all first takes and done on my laptop, instead of on my Mac desktop, but it’s pretty cool to hear an acoustic version compared to the album version, which has bass, drums, and production values.

Download Iris Florentine. It’s free!

Single Cover Artwork by Estelle Johnson

- Jack Merlot

If you want, you can make up your own lyrics to go along with the song. Then you can pretend you’re in a rock ‘n roll band, just like Ping. Except the difference between you and Ping, is that he’s actually in a rock ‘n roll band, and you’re not.

But don’t feel bad. Life on the road isn’t always easy.

Taking a break from the harsh reality that is being in a band.

Ping and Mr. Pibb have an on-again, off-again relationship that typically ends with me having to separate the two of them for a while.

Here, Ping strikes a relaxed pose, having just finished a brutally challenging marathon recording session revolving around too much caffeine.

However, when the title of “World’s Most Famous Finger Cymbal Soloist” is up for grabs, who can say that his attentions are being inappropriately focused on the most trivial of pursuits?

Not I, that much is certain.

- Jack Merlot

We’ve been trying to figure out this whole Facebook thing lately. So, you should either

A. Search for Jack Merlot on Facebook and Be My Friend.

or,

B.

Go to my Page and become a fan.

Or, both!

Also, you really ought to be following me on Twitter.

We’ve got a lot to say about nanotechnology, “Jolene” by Dolly Parton, and what it feels like to sound like (as one recent music critic put it)

kind of like a Jonathan Richman with a mild nerve disorder. like it.

- Jack Merlot

This track, entitled Ghost Dobro is one of my favorites from the new album. It’s got a rich, chocolatey texture and plenty of leather-bones stretching to the stars, which is spooky enough that sometimes when I listen to it I get goosebumps.

Go ahead and download the single, “Ghost Dobro”, right heah.

And if you like it well enough, and can spare five bucks, head on over to the online music store and get the full album. It’s pretty great – five bucks for ten songs, cheaper than iTunes (and we think the music we make is more, uh, *charming* than most of what you see on iTunes these days… but, that’s just like, our opinion, man.)

Thanks for stopping by!

- Jack Merlot

This version was recorded in 2008 for the first Jack Merlot release.

Download Bohemian Bus right heah.

(greetings and salutations, fellow RPM Challengers/Redditors/Facebook frenemies)

I’ve got a special treat for you today – a free single from Orchids for Betty, our new album that we just completed for the RPM Challenge 2009.

Download Witness Protection right here. It’s a rollicking good tune, in my opinion. ;-)

- Jack
a.k.a. dragonfly_blue

Great news – the new album, Orchids for Betty is out! The store is online now, as well, so you can go check it out. Thanks in advance for supporting local & independent music – we really appreciate every single one of our fans.

Included in the album are ten brand-spanking new songs for your enjoyment, a complete set of lyrics & liner notes, some extra artwork, and more. Dare I say that it’s our best work yet?

Available now from the Jack Merlot Music Emporium & Curiosity Shoppe. And, for just five bucks, you really can’t get a better deal on some fresh new tunes.

(Unless you’re a pirate. Yaaaar!)

— — —

Special thanks to Jenni Undis, Nick Christensen, Estelle Johnson, Peter Mack, Colin Mullen, and the rest of ya’ll for your support. I’m sure there are other people I’m forgetting, but I’ll get to them later, I suppose.

- Jack Merlot